Tuesday, December 20, 2016

While watching this movie

Tonight I was watching this John Singleton movie called Abduction. It's about a high school student who discovered his parents were not his parents.

When Nathan confronted his mother and asked her directly, if she was his mother, she calmly said, "no Nathan, I'm not. I wanted to tell you for so long but I just couldn't."   Naturally, Nathan was upset. The mother was sad, and she asked him to please not judge her or his father so quickly. She wanted his forgiveness. She hugged him the way she had always hugged him whenever he was sad about something, and she told him "I love you. You're my son, and nothing's gonna change that." He pulled away, as one would expect him to do under the circumstances. I had to pause the movie to compose this blog post, to tell you how that conversation went when I asked my mother the same question.

When my 10 year old nephew told me that my mother was not my real mother ( that's right, my 10 year old nephew. Everyone knew about me, but me)- I didn't confront her that day. I waited a week. My mother isn't someone you confront about anything. She has a very volatile personality, and my goal has always been to do or say whatever was necessary to keep her from arguing explosively.

A week later I built up the courage to call her.

Me- I was told you weren't my real mother.
Her-Who the fuck told you that? Who's talking about me?
Me-Are you my real mother?
Her-Who the fuck is talking about me? Fucking backstabbers. Who the fuck you been talking to about me behind my back?
Me-Ma, it's not about you. It's about me. Are you my mother?
Her-Well I've been your mother since you were 11 months old. Your mother didn't want you, but I did. Other people rejected you at the adoption agency, but I wanted you. I wanted you! Nobody else wanted you. Now, who the fuck is talking about me behind my back? If they got anything else to say, they need to say it to my damn face!
Me-Who is my mother?
Her-I don't know.Who is talking about me?
Me-You don't know who my mother is?
Her-I don't know her. I don't know why you wanna know who she is. She didn't want you!  Nobody wanted you but me. Who's talking about me?

( I wasn't about to tell her that her grandson told me)

So, that's how that first conversation went. 

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