Thursday, December 15, 2016

What you don't know

Sometimes loneliness makes the loudest noise.

--Aaron Ben Ze'ev

    Sometimes I think my loneliness is screaming and people can't ( or don't care to) hear it.

--Alieux George

I remember the first time I went to Paris, 4 years ago. It was my 50 year old birthday present to myself
 A few months later, I had shown my mother the hundreds of pictures I had taken. The only thing she said in response to the pictures was;

"You're lonely, aren't you?"

I don't know how she came upon that conclusion after seeing my pictures. I was disappointed. It was as if she didn't know me, like she had just met me. If there was anyone that should have known that I was lonely, it should have been her. She knew I loved Paris, and I had talked about having my honeymoon there, but I had turned 50 before I found my wife, and the only person she saw in my pictures besides the passersby, was me. It's been years since I mentioned a girlfriend. My response was 'yeah, ma, I'm lonely,' but I wanted to say 'how could you not know I was lonely?'


  1. It's also very possible to feel lonely even when you are surrounded by your loved ones. I think sometimes I've felt most alone when I've been with my partner. Sad but true.

    1. I can relate. There are some groups of which I'm a part, that I feel alone.

      Maybe these feelings are coming out because the holidays are very depressing for me.

  2. I have been lonely but that was a long time ago.