Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Who am I?

"For every confidence, there's someone willing to betray it."

I  was watching a movie on tv about a woman who discovered she had been adopted as a child. Her husband found a private investigator, and then immediately after the next commercial break, she had the address of her mother. She was amazed at how quickly the private investigator was able to find her mother, but then again, she knew her mother's full name. After eventually talking to her mother ( who had initially hidden behind a locked door when the woman showed up) she talked to the private investigator about how her adoption was a secret, and he said 'for every confidence, there's someone willing to betray it.'

My adoption was a secret. It's still a secret since no one alive will tell me anything about who I was before I became a casey and how the caseys 'attained' me. My records are sealed by the state of New York for some unknown reason. My private investigator told me that it is impossible to access my records. I know that movie was just a movie and not real life, but that sentence made me feel some kind of way:

For every confidence, there's someone willing to betray it.

I don't have the kind of money one would need to pay to betray a confidence, unfortunately. One attorney did tell me to write a letter to the Governor of New York, and to make it a really sad sob story.  I did that.  In early 2015.  It's almost Christmas, 2016, and I still don't know anything.

My records are sealed by the state of New York. I wonder why. What makes me to so 'special' that my birth records would need to be sealed? I wonder if my parents were famous and/or rich?

I'm too broke to research this at the moment, but as soon as I get my money right, I'm going to start again.


  1. My adoption was a secret too. All I know is that it was a good girl that made a mistake. I was adopted when I was 2 weeks old from Queen Charlotte's hospital in London. And that's it.

    1. Really? We have something in common. I don't know anything about my mother though, except that her last name was George. I discovered that all my aunts and grandparents knew. Even my sister knew. Even my 10 yr old nephew knew. My sister wanted me to know. My mother insisted I never know. They had been arguing for years about it. I would like to have a conversation with my mom about it but she gets very volatile at the mere mention of my being adopted. It would be nice, at the very least, to let me know the reason I was put up for adoption. I do have an older cousin who was aware that I was adopted. Her mother told her that my mom was Jamaican and that she and my mom were friends. When I mentioned to my mother, she screamed about it being a lie, and she called my cousin and cussed her out for lying to me.