Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Some dreams come true.

Someone really hurt me emotionally last year, and as much as I've tried to get over it, I'm still not over it. The wound is still fresh as it came from someone I didn't expect ( and she is still in denial about what she's done, so I'm not expecting an apology) and so I decided to write a short story about her. It was based on a fantasy I have of people observing her in her natural element when other Christians aren't around-and her church discovering she's a hypocrite and her getting kicked out of her church. 
It was a harmless fantasy:

And it came true last week.

My brother told me on Sunday  that someone recorded a 25 minute conversation of her cussing and gossiping about people in the church and saying really mean things about people. The person to whom she was gossiping-she thought was her friend. The friend gave the recording to the Pastor who immediately removed her from her position in the church (she was one of the Church Mothers and she sat in the pulpit) and made her sit in the pews. 
But that wasn't enough because the friend made sure the entire church heard the recording in its entirety. There was no way she could stay in the church, and they kicked her out. 

I hate to admit it, but the news made me so happy. I felt giddy. It made my sister happy too. It was enevitable. Her need to backstab and start rumors is similar to my need to breathe, or sleep, or eat. It's something she seems to have to do in order to survive. I've since decided it was wrong for me to feel the way I did.
Okay God, I have another fantasy; to find love. I'm still waiting.

Monday, September 28, 2015

Marsha Ambrosius - With You


Sunday, September 27, 2015

A Proverb

 

                              When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.
--Buddha

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

I'm tired!

I've been posting pics but I haven't been writing anything. I've been putting in 16 hour days for the past two weeks at work in order to complete a project due tomorrow. And I'm about 3 hours away from being done. I've been working and sleeping.

No complaints. I have friends who are unemployed and trying to find a job. I'm grateful to be busy.

Hope you're all doing okay.

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

I had a dream

Yesterday on the way to work I prayed to meet my soul mate and to make new friends. This is a daily prayer. 

This did not happen. But, I had a dream about my request-
I was hanging with this new friend. And this woman appeared. She was gorgeous. She was medium-brown  skinned, had almond eyes and a nice smile. She had a thick head of black hair, pulled back. There was chemistry between us.  Then she disappeared. My friend  asked if I liked her. He said "she just dumped me" . I recall feeling bad for him  so I lied and said I didn't like her. But I did like her. Anyway, he was gone, and suddenly I was naked and looking to find him because my clothes were at his house. So I managed to get in his building. I went from apartment and I was stealing quarters from wallets the toos of dresser drawers etc, and I went from floor to floor to find him, and I eventually did. Then I had clothes on, and we went to his place to get my clothes.

I wonder what the hell that means.

#jadooooooooooooooooore


Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Hon E Man

Kendrick Lamar - Alright


Watch Sonia's Lips Move

Day ONE: 10/1/00
enters Sonia,
shutting the door behind her.
She removes her full red lips
To tell me in confidence:
“I’m so glad they finally hired a
brutha here! You the only nigga that’s been in this building besides the UPS guy!
We gotta have each other’s back.
 If there is anything that you need,
nigga,
please don’t hesitate to let a sista know!”
then she quickly leaves my office
after putting her lips back
where they  remained
from my first day
through to my last;

attached
to
every
white
male
ass
in
the
company.
--alexgeorge

(true story)

Monday, September 7, 2015

We Matter


:)


 Real love. When the only person in a room of people, is the one you're looking at. This  pic, and smiliar pics where The President and The First Lady look like they can't wait to be alone,  always make me smile.

In the past 96 hours


  • I made $900, fulfilling an order for 250 cupcakes.
  • I woke up 2 days in a row, humming the same tune I didn't recognize.
  • I had a date with a woman I hope to never see or hear from again.
  • I thought about my friend Farzad, and he called within 30 minutes. From Lebanon, telling me that I had popped in his head.
  • I practiced acknowledging the minute I felt full, I stopped eating.
  • I bought a book that I intend to read in its entirety by friday.





Sunday, September 6, 2015

Searchin'

I love them

Is it possible to love someone you've never met and from whom you've never heard?

I'm not talking about God. I'm talking about my biological family. 

I don't know why, but I love them, and for whatever reason she had, I forgive my birth mother for the awful hellish  environment in which I was raised when she put me up for adoption. 

Saturday, September 5, 2015

Let's talk about/ think about beautiful things for a change

In addition to God,
(HIM being #1)
If there’s one thing I love, it’s my mom. 
If there’s one thing I love, it’s my entire family.
If there’s one thing I love, it’s my biological mother, even if I don't know who she is
If there’s one thing I love, it’s my biological siblings, even if I don't know who they are.
If there’s one thing I love, it’s my father, even though he didn't love me.
If there’s one thing I love, it’s my God Daughter and her entire family
If there’s one thing I love,it’s my God son and his entire family
If there’s one thing I love, it’s my best friend and his family
If there’s one thing I love, it’s poetry.
If there’s one thing I love,it’s cooking and baking for family and friends
If there’s one thing I love, it’s that God blessed me with a vehicle the weekend before my job moved to the other side of town
If there’s one thing I love, it’s when people can’t believe I’m over 35
If there’s one thing I love, it’s when people will let me in front of them in the grocery line if I have a handful of items.
If there’s one thing I love, it’s when I bring a cake to work or parties and people can’t believe I baked it
If there’s one thing I love, it’s when a friend hired me to make her wedding cake.
If there’s one thing I love, it’s when a friend asked me to write a poem to be read at her wedding
If there’s one thing I love, it’s having a job that I love
If there’s one thing I love, it’s The Boondocks
If there’s one thing I love, it’s sarcasm
If there’s one thing I love, it’s when a guy cut me off in a jaguar this morning and raced down the street and was stopped by the cops at the next block for speeding.
If there’s one thing I love, it’s when people are lying to me and they don’t know that I know they’re lying.
If there’s one thing I love, it’s when I find a 20-dollar bill in my gym bag
If there’s one thing I love, it’s when my accent becomes a conversation peace (people always ask what Caribbean Island I am from)
If there’s one thing I love, it’s when kids ask me what football team I play for.
If there’s one thing I love, it’s when my nephew waits at the curb in the morning on the day I'm flying in to Madison Wisconsin.
If there’s one thing I love, it’s that I don't live in the midwest anymore.
If there’s one thing I love, it’s when my closest friends and family realize tomorrow isn't promised to us and they understand why I say i love you, at the end of every call.
If there’s one thing I love, it’s seeing a mother, father, and kids, playing, laughing and smiling.
If there’s one thing I love, it’s feeling my grandfather's presence when I'm cooking. He spent every waking moment in the kitchen and that was our bonding time. He even died in the kitchen cooking, doing what he loved.
If there’s one thing I love, it’s finding that though rush card  has a $1.00 fee for every debit transaction, they credit it back my account each month, and they deposited $75 in my account over the weekend, the day before my rent is due. I was $10 short, and now I'm $65 ahead.
If there’s one thing I love, it’s that God is good.
If there’s one thing I love, it’s when I can go a 24 hour period without eating anything sweet
If there’s one thing I love, it’s when an attractive woman that I don't know smiles at me and says hi
If there’s one thing I love, it’s that I get to live during a time when a black man is president of the United States
If there’s one thing I love, it’s the idea of love itself

Overheard , while on a date




"I hope that one day you'll fall in love so that you'll understand how it feels to have your heart broken since heart break seems to be inevitable."

That Melanin Tho


Ann Nesby - I Found a Place

Friday, September 4, 2015

Psalms 139

1 O LORD, you have searched me 
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise; 
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down; 
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue 
you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before; 
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, 
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit? 
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; 
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, 
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me, 
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me 
and the light become night around me,"
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; 
the night will shine like the day, 
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being; 
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; 
your works are wonderful, 
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you 
when I was made in the secret place. 
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body. 
All the days ordained for me 
were written in your book 
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! 
how vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them, 
they would outnumber the grains of sand. 
When I awake, 
I am still with you.
19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God! 
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
20 They speak of you with evil intent; 
your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD, 
and abhor those who rise up against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them; 
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; 
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me, 
and lead me in the way everlasting.

Mica Paris...More Love

About Life


"...so you wanna get stronger? Here's some more weight..."


Wouldn't it be nice

if there was more:


        Love

        Patience

        Thoughtfulness

         Empathy

         Joy

         Sharing

         (and more love)

         ?


On Giving

I have somewhere met with the epitaph on a charitable man which has pleased me very much. I cannot recollect the words, but here is the sense of it: "What I spent I lost; what I possessed is left to others; what I gave away remains with me."
--Joseph Addison

I believe he had the right idea. I wish the entire world shared this same sentiment. In the end, I believe it's the only way.





#active


No matter how alpha the male, when your baby girl asks to have her toe nails painted, you’re painting!   
#active fathers

The Best Things That Ever Happened



  • The minute I was asked to be the Godfather to my friend's gorgeous newborn daughter Arianna.
  • Seeing my nephew being born. 
  • Watching that same nephew get his high school diploma 18 yrs later.
  • Spending 2 weeks in Paris for my 50th birthday.
  • Finding out the countries to where my DNA was traced- Click here. I always thought that if I was go to Africa, I would go to where my people came from.  Since I don't know my parents, I at least now feel a connection to the Africans I've met here. I plan to take a month off in 2017 and go to the Cote d'ivoire and Ghana.  And Cameroon, etc. 


So, what are the best things that ever happened to you?


The Boris and Nicole Show Full Episode #003


Dondre Whitfield and Salli Richardson Whitfield Discuss Marriage


IF

If you can keep your head when all about you 

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you; 
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, 
But make allowance for their doubting too; 
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, 
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies, 
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating, 
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise; 

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master; 
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim; 
If you can meet with triumph and disaster 
And treat those two imposters just the same; 
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken 
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, 
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken, 
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools; 

If you can make one heap of all your winnings 
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, 
And lose, and start again at your beginnings 
And never breath a word about your loss; 
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew 
To serve your turn long after they are gone, 
And so hold on when there is nothing in you 
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on"; 


If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, 
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch; 
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you; 
If all men count with you, but none too much; 
If you can fill the unforgiving minute 
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run - 
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, 
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son! 

                            --Rudyard Kipling

# Just Sayin



               When you take the high road, in the end you get the last laugh. Because God does not like ugly.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

I'm gonna press on

Diamonds are nothing more than chunks of coal that stuck to their jobs.
                                            --author unknown                           


Life is a wonderful gift that we’ve been given, but it is not always easy.  You will, at some point, have life pressures that will test your strength and will to succeed. Do not let life's trials make you give up on your goals and dreams! Past the test, press through and go to the next level of success.

' I believe I'm gonna press on, to see what the end's gonna be.'
 One of my mom's sayings...
It’s seems like in most success stories that I have read, breakthrough came right in the midst of the storm. So don’t let your emotions, people, and problems get the best of you!! You’re stronger than you think you are. My mother also always says 'there are people that are waiting for you to fail and people that are waiting for you to succeed'. Who are you going to prove right? It’s your choice; stay a piece of coal or become a diamond!

Upendo huu !

Bon jour!

The sun is shining this morning. I was running late: it was too late go back for my shades. 
Anyway, I want to see the sun. I want to feel the warm sun on my eyelids. This is Oregon, and the rainy season is around the corner. I want to savor the sunshine as much as possible, while we still have it.

Good morning! Have a great day!

T B T ......Samuelle, Guy, and Shalamar



What Matters