Saturday, August 31, 2013

-Listening to...

Don't go there

When we’re just getting to know someone—a friend, a business associate, a romantic partner—being inquisitive about the other person’s background and interests is a healthy and inevitable part of the process. But that doesn’t mean it’s appropriate to fire off just any question that pops into your mind, no matter how burning your desire to know the answer is.
Personally, my life is an open book to my best friend and other close friends. For others it's on a need to know basis.  As a matter of fact, employers aren't even allowed to ask about any of the following, because to not hire a candidate because of any one of them is discriminatory: race, color, sex, religion, national origin, birthplace, age, disability, marital/family status.
These are some questions  people shouldn't ask me, but they do: .

  • Why aren’t you married?
  • Why are you going to see the doctor?
  • Do you mind me asking when did you last have sex?
  • You sound so proper. Were you raised with black people?
  • Do you have a college degree?
  • Do you use rubbers?
  • Do you mind me asking how much do you get paid?
  •  Do you smoke any weed?
  • Are you gay?
  • Why don't you look like anyone in your family?
  • I've never seen you with white women. Don't you like them?
  • You eat all the time. I thought you were on a diet?
  •  I know about everyone else in the department but why don't I know anything about you?
  •  How many kids do you have that you know of?
  • You're black. How big is your cock? 
  • You've been in the bathroom a while. Are you jacking off ( asked of my mom, when I was 14)?
  • Are you straight?

Friday, August 30, 2013

It doesn't matter

Newark Mayor Cory Booker speaks at Garden State Equality's 4th Annual "Equality Walk" event in June 2013 at Erie Park in Montclair in support of winning marriage equality. (William Perlman/The Star-Ledger)
It's a question he has been asked in the past, but this time it came amid a campaign for the U.S Senate.
In a profile that appeared in the Washington Post on Monday, Newark Mayor Cory Booker was asked about the persistent rumor that he is gay.
"People who think I'm gay, some part of me thinks it's wonderful," Booker told the interviewer, "because I want to challenge people on their homophobia. I love seeing on Twitter when someone says I'm gay, and I say, 'So what does it matter if I am? So be it.'"
When asked about the interview by The Star-Ledger today, Booker said it was his plan to stick to the major issues in his race against former Mayor Steve Lonegan of Bogota, a Republican, and that sexual preference should not be an issue when voters go to the polls on Oct. 16.
"I don’t intend to answer," said Booker, who was returning from Washington after attending
a meeting with President Obama  on gun violence. "It should not matter. That was my point."
Lonegan said in a telephone interview that he's not concerned about Booker’s sexuality.
Newark Mayor Cory Booker said he isn't bothered by questions about his sexual orientation. Star-Ledger file photo
"I don’t really care about this guy’s lifestyle," he said. "I care about his failed record in Newark."
He added, "He’s too liberal for New Jersey and he wants to bring his failed policies to the federal level."

Lonegan later expanded on his remarks in an interview with the conservative website Newsmax, , saying that “maybe that helps to get him the gay vote, by acting ambiguous.It’s kind of weird,” he said. “I don’t know if you saw the stories last year ... about how he likes to go out at three o’clock in the morning for a manicure and a pedicure," Lonegan said. "I don’t like going out in the middle of the night, or any time of the day, for a manicure and pedicure. It was described as his peculiar fetish ... I like a good Scotch and a cigar. That’s my fetish, but we’ll just compare the two.”
As early as 10 years ago, when Booker was trying to unseat Mayor Sharpe James in 2002, allies of James spread the word that the Booker was gay.
It was not the last time the issue would come up.
When talk of his sexuality emerged last year as he considered challenging Gov. Chris Christie, Booker again denied the loose talk. And when a phony Facebook page in Booker’s name declared that he had come out of the closet, a staff member said he "likes the ladies."
Even in 2006, when he was about to assume the mayoral office, a voter asked Booker about the rumor. He again denied it, but declined to go any further. He said today that answering the question was tantamount to judging someone’s abilities based on faith or race.
"We need to understand that race, religion, sexual orientation, all of these things are not germane to a person’s ability to lead the state of New Jersey," Booker said.
Although Booker maintains a close relationship with Christie, a Republican, he has been publicly critical of the governor’s conservative stance on the issue of same-sex marriage.
Indeed, when Christie proposed putting the issue on a referendum for voters to decide, Booker bristled.
"I shudder to think what would have happened if the civil rights gains, heroically established by courageous lawmakers in the 1960s, were instead conveniently left up to popular votes in our 50 states," the mayor said.
Over the years, the 44-year-old Booker has attracted attention because of his friendships and public appearances with such women as Gayle King and Arianna Huffington — and even a recent campaign appearance with Eva Longoria. But he has consistently denied his involvement in any long-term relationships, and has kept that part of his life private because he says he needs some sacred spaces.
As he put it, “How unfair is it to a young lady to put them in the spotlight if they haven’t signed up for that yet?”

The way he sees it, the issue is not something that voters are overly concerned about.
"Here I am a candidate in a statewide election and ... what people talk about with me is my ideas, my vision, my ability to get things done," he said. "That’s what the campaign will continue to do."


The possibility he might be gay has caused the bigots to temporarily forget that he is black. 

_Right Here

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Quotes, reaction to the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington

Statements in observance of the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington and Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech:

“We rightly and best remember Dr. King’s soaring oratory that day, how he gave mighty voice to the quiet hopes of millions, how he offered a salvation path for oppressed and oppressors alike. His words belong to the ages, possessing a power and prophecy unmatched in our time.” — President Barack Obama.
“My parents did their fair share and I feel like we have to keep the fight alive. ... This is hands-on history.” — Frantz Walker, 46, a honey salesman from Baltimore. He attended the anniversary march with his son Nicholas, 10, and daughter Malaika, 8, since his parents were active in civil rights movement.

“Whether it’s protecting voting rights, providing equal rights to the LGBT community, or making sure that people with disabilities have the opportunity to live fulfilling lives, the work to complete Dr. King’s dream is far from finished.” — Rep. Tammy Duckworth, D-Ill.

“He was a pastor, he was a prophet, he was a faith leader. It was that faith and the spirit of God that infused that movement.” — The Rev. Bernice King, the civil rights leader’s daughter.

“I thought we would be a lot further along than we are.” — John Pruitt, 83, of Huntsville, Ala., a voting rights advocate who attended both the 50th anniversary ceremony and 1963 march.
“In many ways, this singular event redefined the American experience and, to this day, Dr. Martin Luther King’s dream of an America without the burdens of prejudice and discrimination remains an unparalleled vision of our county’s potential.” — Rep. Alcee Hastings, D-Fla.

“Dr. King was on this Earth just 39 years, but the ideals that guided his life of conscience and purpose are eternal. ...There’s still a need for every American to help hasten the day when Dr. King’s vision is made real in every community — when what truly matters is not the color of a person’s skin, but the content of their character.” — Former President George W. Bush, in a statement.

“The disability rights movement that I’m a part of that I dedicate my life to is actually an extension of the original civil rights movement. I wanted to do everything I can to school the boys in the ways of the civil rights movement and not just generally but how it effects them personally.” — Ollie Cantos, 43, a lawyer from Arlington, Va., who attended the commemorative ceremony with his 14-year-old triplets, Leo, Nick and Steven.
“Today we honor the vision and dedication of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and the hundreds of thousands of Americans who came to our nation’s capital to demand an end to discrimination. We are forever grateful for their courage, commitment, and capacity to change the course of our nation’s history.” — Rep. Alan Grayson, D-Fla.
“It’s a history lesson that they can take with them for the rest of their lives.” —Jerome Williams, 57, a plumber from Washington, D.C., who attended the anniversary ceremony with his wife and two children.
“You only register progress by how far you have to go. ... The fight has just begun and we can never accept the status quo until the word progress is taken out of our vocabulary.” — NBA legend Bill Russell, who attended both the 1963 march and spoke at the anniversary.
“The fact he was here 50 years ago and is here still fighting is a testament to his character. He’s a model for all of us who fight for justice.” — Blake Selzer, 47, of Washington, D.C., as he carried a sign reading, “Thank you Congressman John Lewis,” one of the 1963 march organizers. Selzer, who works for an international civil rights group, said Lewis has been his hero since he was a child.

“On this day 50 years ago, Martin Luther King Jr. kindled Americans’ hopes that his dream of full equality could be achieved. While we have made great progress, we still haven’t achieved that laudable and necessary goal. And today’s march shows the dream that Dr. King spoke about is very much alive in the hearts and souls of America.” — Sen. Chuck Schumer, D-N.Y.
“It is a reminder we haven’t arrived yet, to keep striving... History is important. You have to know where you come from in order to go forward.” — Regina Russell, 47, a patent legal secretary from Upper Marlboro, Md., who listened to Obama’s speech in a crowd along the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool. Her mother attended King’s speech in 1963.
“The March on Washington took place the same year I was born. Today, as a congressman, it is not lost on me that without the non-violent struggle for equality, which took place when I was just a baby, I could not have been elected to this office.” — Rep. Tony C├írdenas, D-Calif.

In case you didn't know

For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

Psalm 30:5


President Obama speaks on the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington

Rodeo Clown Who Mocked Obama Receiving Death Threats

Poor racist rodeo clown. Have a seat.

Some Dwele for the day

Tell Me Something Good

Visit for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

It would be nice if…

  • Halle Berry and Salli Richardson-Whitfield played sisters in a movie.
  • Janet Jackson did a remake of Prince’s The Beautiful Ones, International Lover, If I Was Your Girlfriend, or Erotic City, with Prince.
  • Oprah Winfrey’s OWN network was an outlet  for black screenwriters to produce dramas and movies-other than Tyler Perry.
  • BET showed  more videos and less everything else.
  • Prince would allow his music to be seen and heard on YouTube
  • Mondays didn't come so fast
  • Every morning didn't come so fast
  • Jody Watley and Prince did a remake of her song Still a Thrill with the same style video
  • I could eat anything I wanted and never gain a pound
  • I lived in Paris
  • D'Angelo would put out a new cd already
  • Everyone realized they were created in God's image and loved themselves without feeling the need to have their features surgically altered
  • We treated the elderly with the compassion and care we hope to be given once we're of that age
  • I was old enough to have chosen my adoptive parents
  • I was 6' tall and leaner 
  • After my annual  performance reviews, when my boss tells me how I'm always exceeding expectations, that she gives me the raise I deserve instead of the company max of 2.5% which is because of the economy when the CEO of the company received the largest payout this year of any outgoing CEO in the Pacific Northwest
  • I made money off my novella publications on Amazon Kindle
  • Love wasn't so illusive
  • i had a summer home in Jamaica
  • I had an Alexander McQueen suit, or leather jacket or overcoat
  • I knew my ethnicity
  • i knew my biological mother and rest of the family
  • New York State would unseal birth records upon the request of the owners without the need of an attorney
  • Ledisi, Chrisette Michelle, Albegra Blessett, Jose James, Anthony Hamilton, Amel Larrieux,Syleena Johnson , Raheem DeVaughn, Dwele, and Eric Roberson received half the attention given to  Nicki Minaj and Rihanna
  • Oh, and if the computer systems at the IRS  and Credit Reporting bureaus and the backup systems crashed -permanently without a way to recover any  data.    That would be nice
#amazonkindle, #amazon #kindle

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Monday, August 26, 2013

Dr. Patricia Dixon, presents, Black Manhood by Haki Madhubuti

GTFOH Moment - Colorado state Sen. Vicki Marble under fire for comments on race, diet

Colorado GOP State Sen. Vicki Marble
A Republican state senator stunned her colleagues Wednesday during a discussion on poverty when she talked about blacks eating chicken and Mexicans eating vegetables until they move to the United States.
The remarks by Sen. Vicki Marble of Fort Collins drew a stinging rebuke from a black state lawmaker.
"When you look at life expectancy, there are problems in the black race," Marble said. "Sickle-cell anemia is something that comes up. Diabetes is something that's prevalent in the genetic makeup, and you just can't help it.
"Although I've got to say, I've never had better barbecue and better chicken and ate better in my life than when you go down South and you, I mean, I love it. Everybody loves it."

also said Mexicans eat healthfully until they immigrate to America.

Marble serves on the legislature's Economic Opportunity Poverty Reduction Task Force, which Wednesday was looking at statistics highlighting racial disparities and the poverty rate.
Two Democrats on the committee, Sen. John Kefalas of Fort Collins and Rep. Rhonda Fields of Aurora, later said Marble's comments not only reinforced stereotypes, but that they also are inaccurate. They said those in the committee room appeared shocked by the remarks.
Fields, who is black, called Marble out in committee.
"You mentioned what we eat — I was highly offended by your remarks," Fields said.
"I will not engage in a dialogue where you are using these stereotypical references about African-Americans and chicken and food. I will not tolerate that. This is not what this committee is all about. ... What we are trying to do is come up with meaningful solutions. This is not about eating chicken."
Marble tried to answer Fields, but Kefalas, the committee chairman, called for a recess "so we can all take a deep breath." The issue was not brought up when the committee returned.
In a statement issued Wednesday night, Marble said her comments "were not meant to be disparaging to any community. I am saddened they were taken in that regard.
"I take my responsibility seriously, and I hope our work on this committee will offer real solutions to the health and financial challenges of our vulnerable populations."
Kefalas said Marble must not be aware of a report issued earlier this year that shows Mexico now is the most obese industrialized nation in the world, narrowly surpassing the United States.
"I think sometimes she doesn't understand the implications of what she is saying," he said. "It was outrageous. Stereotyping doesn't get us anywhere."
Fields did not return to the committee hearing, as she was scheduled to attend a neighborhood meeting.
"Chicken and sickle-cell anemia," she later said. "Can you believe it?"
Another black lawmaker who is on the committee did not publicly react to Marble's remarks. Rep. Tony Exum, D-Colorado Springs, was the first committee member to speak after Marble. He talked about the importance of early-childhood education in reducing poverty.
Exum could not be reached for comment.

--Courtesy, The Denver Post


Note to self

 Despite my praying, I always catch myself worrying. I have to remind myself constantly that fear and faith cannot occupy the same space.

 I choose faith.

Oh Salli

So I met someone on the train this morning. I was smiling on the inside as well as the outside, when I said good morning to her and she responded. Usually I think I'm out of someone's league and I convince myself I'll be rejected, but I rarely see black women in Oregon in their 40s  that I find attractive so I had to take a chance. I was glad I did, initially. What happened?  Here's what happened:
The train was standing room only when she got on. As she stood next to me, I offered her my seat and she accepted it. A sista. Darker than me. Wearing a orange sun dress a white cardigan, and matching orange high-heels. She had a small afro. Beautiful full lips. She smelled like a field of roses. She was so gorgeous.  The conversation went well. She was receptive to the questions I asked her and her responses invited more conversation. Once the train arrives in Portland on the other side of the tunnel, the crowd thins out and she offered me the seat next to her. For the next 20 minutes we  talked and laughed, and those 20 minutes went by like 5 minutes. She said she couldn't believe I was single.  I didn't see a ring on her finger. Then her phone notified her of a text, and she apologized for having to respond to it. I said I didn't mind. So while she was texting, I pulled out my phone to check for any messages, and she saw my phone's home page. And my screen saver (believe it or not, I do alternate between Halle Berry and Salli Richardson-Whitfield).

 She said: "Salli Richardson-Whitfield. She is so hot. I don't know who I like more. Her or Halle Berry. Sometimes my girlfriend  looks like Salli, and sometimes she looks like Halle. Either way its all good."  And I thought girl friend  or girlfriend,  since women refer to their platonic female friends as girlfriends. That confused me a lot when I was a kid and I heard my mom gossip about her girlfriends. Anyway, I digress. I said I like both too. I began to wonder if maybe she wasn't attracted to me and was afraid I  would ask for her phone number so she'd pretend she had a girlfriend. That's happened before.
Then she showed me her homepage. It was a pic of her and a woman almost as beautiful as Halle or Salli, and they were both holding a baby.
"This is my wife, Brenda, and our son."

They looked happy.

& I was sad.

She asked to exchange numbers. I said ok. I guess it would be okay to be in the company of  beautiful kind women, regardless.


Sunday, August 25, 2013



                     “You is smart. You is kind. You is important.”

This is dedicated to you, reading this blog entry.

(and a constant reminder to myself)

Friday, August 23, 2013

That awkward moment

when a 'friend' calls you because he noticed you deactivated your facebook account and within a minute of apologizing  for not having been a good friend to you as of late, he then asks you for a mutual friend's phone number, to invite him to his bachelor party- but doesn't invite you.


In the past 48 hours

  • I made some chocolate-covered bacon for a friend's birthday
  • I edited my novella Medicine For The Nightmare
  • I got an apology from a friend
  • I alternated between worrying about things and giving it to God to take care of for me
  • I got pissed
  • I was happy
  • I fantasized someone's demise
  • I asked God for forgiveness and asked Him to cover me with the precious blood of  His son Jesus
  • I haven't considered reactivating my facebook account
  • I forgave a friend who called me 'nigga' since he asked me to forgive him.


I have no desire to take all black people back to Africa; there are blacks who are no good here and will likewise be no good there.
--Marcus Garvey


tGif !! time for a J Dilla remix

Monday, August 19, 2013

-Whoopi Goldberg Quote

When I was nine years old, Star Trek came on. I looked at it and I went screaming through the house, “Come here, mum, everybody, come quick, come quick, there’s a black lady on television and she ain’t no maid!” I knew right then and there I could be anything I wanted to be.

— Whoopi Goldberg

Sunday, August 18, 2013

The Perks

of dating me-

you will never have to cook another day in your life if you didn't want to.

Sweet Potato Biscuits

Buttermilk Biscuits and Chorizo Gravy

My friend Rob treated me to a trip to  Vancouver British Columbia yesterday for his sister's birthday. The last time he was in The States, I  made the above (picture taken during their trip) for him and his wife. They both loved it, and had been raving about it for months.  Now I get to make it for them again, and their parents. All-expenses paid, just to cook biscuits and gravy!

Friday, August 16, 2013

Tell me something good

I'm sure it's because my father wasn't in the picture and any boyfriends my mom  had never stayed in the picture, or my nephew's father wasn't in the picture and most of my high school friend's fathers weren't in the picture, and most of my girlfriend's fathers weren't in the picture-  I don't want to take mothers for granted, but seeing a father with their children always makes me smile.
I don't see it  too often. 
This afternoon on the train ride home,  I saw a  tall dad with long black dreads French braiding his daughter's hair. She had produced from her pink knapsack, a plastic bag of barettes, ribbons and bows, etc , The contraption he was wearing on his back, was carrying a baby girl.
There was an older white lady sitting across from him. She watched as he interacted with the older daughter, thanking her for giving her sister the bottle while he was shaving. The girl told her father 'cause I'm a big girl, right?'

"Yes you are. Your mom would be so proud of you," he responded.
The older lady asked the girl how old she was, and the girl told her she was 7. Then the older lady asked her if her mother was at work.
 Old people are nosy.

The girl told the lady , "Mommy's up in heaven. God  needed her back after she birthed my sister."
The older lady said 'oh'.
The little girl added, "Daddy is both mommy and daddy."
The father finished doing her hair and she gave him pink barrettes to match her pink sundress. He placed them on her hair and pulled out a mirror so that she could see her hair. Liking what she saw, she hugged him,  exclaiming, "II got the best daddy ever."

Bless her heart, I said to myself. Bless him too.

Plain and simple.

If it doesn't nourish your soul, get rid of it.

Tell me something good

Kashmere High School is located in a predominantly black neighborhood known as Kashmere Gardens in Houston, Texas.The Kashmere Stageband (KSB), the celebrated student funk and soul high school performance band at Kashmere High School from the late 1960s until 1978. This group of high school students could not be funked with; they toured and won competitions across the country and even the world.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

The President---preseason


Small things add up

The happiness of most people is not ruined by great catastrophes or fatal errors, but by the repetition of slowly destructive little things. -Ernest Dimnet

This reminds me of a boss I had once, whose personality clashed with mine. She was determined to fire me, but she couldn't find a reason to do so, so then she started nit-picking. I suspected that she was trying to 'collect' enough small errors to justify my termination, but guess what happened instead? She ended up getting fired herself. 
I'm a child of God- as my mother says, you can't mess with God's children and expect there to be no consequences.

Thursday Throwback

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Monday, August 12, 2013

Happy Birthday, Hip Hop !

On this date in 1973, DJ Kool Herc threw his first party in the Bronx, N.Y. For the low, low price of $0.50 ($0.25 for the ladies), partygoers could listen and dance to a new sound that would soon take the world by storm: hip-hop.
DJ Kool Herc is recognized as the father of hip-hop, and today is its official birthday. Since that first party at 1520 Sedgwick Ave, what began as an expression of culture has become a culture all its own. Hip-hop has left its imprint on everything it has touched in the past 40 years -- fashion, activism, dance, education. It's been a wild ride for the genre most thought was a simple fad, one that will no doubt rage on long into the future.
Courtesy, the
What are some of your favorite hip hop memories?  I was 10, and  I remember waiting for the record store to open on the day that Rapper's Delight became available. I was the first to get it.  A few other vinyls that come to mind are the following. Just a few:

-Raphael Saadiq & Angie Stone

Saturday, August 10, 2013


                        You can fix anything with the right tools. If you know how to use them.


With everything changed
I had you.
When my life was rearranged,
I had you.
When I hit rock bottom, babe
I had you.
When I thought I had been forgotten, babe
I had you
When I faced all my fears
I had you.
When I thought nobody cared,
I had you...

Friday, August 9, 2013

The wrong thing to say

My Facebook status posting yesterday-

"I think a friend forgot who he was texting when he sent a group text to those of us he goes to lunch with on thursdays,when he messaged "Wassup N****s"
(except he spelled it out). I'm the only black person in the group. Everybody who knows me know I don't allow the N word to be said of me, or even in my presence. And when I responded, telling him it is NEVER COOL to say that word to me, he responded with: "well I guess you won't be meeting us for lunch then?"
No apology.
He's right. We'll never have lunch."

I'm confounded why anyone, especially non-African Americans, would think that the use of that word is acceptable, even to me. They have known me for 5 years and if you know me, then you know that word is not acceptable.  Willful ignorance is no justification in this day and age. Sad.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Thought it was but it wasn't...

Slowly surely,
I walk away from
that old desperate and dazed love
caught up in the maze of love
the crazy craze of love
thought it was good
thought it was real
thought it was
but it wasn't love


People wonder how I could love someone I never saw before, but I do. The woman who brought me into this world. I have never met her. I don’t even know if she’s still alive.  My father. I don’t even know if he’s still alive. I don’t even know if he knows I exist. I don't know if my conception was intentional or by accident, though I believe it was the latter. I wonder about the circumstances that lead to my being put up for adoption when I was less than a year old. Maybe she wanted me but was living with her parents who insisted she put me up for adoption, or maybe her boyfriend gave her an ultimatum- keep him or keep me. My older sibling-brother or sister. I don’t even know if he or she is still alive. I don’t even know if they know I even exist. Any biological siblings that might have come after me as well--  I love them too. I would like to hear their voices-my birth mother's voice, especially. I wonder who I act like. I know I got my love for cooking and baking from my mother's dad... But my biological mother: I love to write. Did she or my dad love to write? I love them though they probably never thought of me for 50 years. I think about them everyday.

Lawyers are expensive. Perhaps New York City will keep my adoption records sealed and we will never cross paths.  But I love them. I can’t explain it, but I can’t imagine not loving them.  People keep suggesting that I give up the search, but unless there is no one in your life that shares your DNA-unless there is no one in your life who looks like you, who acts like you, who has ways like you, who has hands like you, a smile like you, dimples like you, a body like you ( all things I have heard about my mother, sister, nephews, aunts, cousins, and none about me),height like you, weight like you, bone structure like you, a medical history that precedes you- You can't even begin to understand.

I don't know her, but I love her, and I forgive her, and if  it's God's will, I will meet her one day, if she's still alive.

Just as I am

Child support

 the true example 

Tuesday, August 6, 2013


                                                                   SAVE OUR SONS